You know...

I kind of miss how I used to be. But then, at the same time, I don't.

I mean, I used to be so oblivious of how other people saw me. I just didn't really care; all I wanted was to be seen. I thought that was all that mattered. I thought being seen would automatically make me more interesting, or more well liked. I wanted friends, whether there were mutual feelings or not. I guess I was just tired of being alone, and that sort of took over. Plus, it was kind of nice to be blissfully unaware of other people's real feelings.

But, looking back, I realize how annoying I was. Constantly trying to get other people's attention, saying things that I thought would get other people's attention, just for that sole purpose, although a lot of the time it didn't even work. I didn't like myself, much, and I couldn't figure out how to be someone other people liked, so I was just making myself miserable.

I'm much better, now. Still working on some things, but one step at a time, right?

- Kaye